Been a while since I had something worth saying. Guess that is about to change now.
I recently got into an argum… umm contradictory discussion, with a person of rather different views during my attendance to a workshop.
This person began by outlining what he called the principles by which the workshop was to be conducted (at least how he wished it would/will happen), most of which were ok in my book.
However i had a BIG problem when i realised he put “respect” and “honesty” in the same place, so i waited for him to finish his intro, then respectfully raised my hand and questioned him about what the HELL is “respect” and “honesty” doing in the same place ? He played dumb and asked me “what do you mean?”
So i said that basically TRUE respect and TRUE honesty exclude each other as personality traits or rather, behaviour sets to which we can adhere at the same time and at 100% for each. “oh ? why do you say that ?” he replied.
Wehh DOOH, think about an example of a social situation where a man has the choice to be honest or to be respectful. Let’s make it interesting with an actual example:
Wife: honey, does this dress make me look fat ?
Husband: …….
He has a choice to be respectful and say “no” (and any sweet-talk) or to be honest if that is the case and say “yes, oh GOD yes”
I’m almost sure, somebody out there has seen or has gone thru similar social .. umm ….. choices.
How can anybody be 100% honest to somebody and still be 100% respectful ?
My answer is “it can’t be done” at least not unless there are two perfectly identically thinking people, discussing the same thing, having the absolute same point of view. How often does that happen ? Not very often.
Once a person, true to his or her principles, (meaning not willing to compromise one of such principles) chooses to be honest or respectful 100% then that person will always be either of two but never BOTH. Meaning that when faced with a choice, they will always be truthful, and honest with those around, even if that means eventually upsetting those people OR a person whom choose to be respectful, will always keep their mouth shut and play nice and show respect, when asked of their own views of things.
Please note, i am reffering to the respect GIVEN TO, not EXPECTED FROM somebody.
If I’d be so lucky as to have made somebody think it’d be time to make the choice between these two, consider two scenarios:
1. everybody on the planet, is respectful of each other. they live in an apparently blissful society, where everybody has their own systems of values and beliefs and they keep it to themselves, thus showing “respect” , out of fear that some of their values or beliefs, might offend somebody at some point.
Yeah right, human nature says sooner or later somebody WILL speak out, seeking recognition and acknowledgement for their way of being, their invididual beliefs and values. That person WILL be an outcast, for having dared to speak their mind in a respectful society.
2. everybody on the planet is honest to each other about everything, being themselves, without hiding, expressing their own individuality as they see fit, without fear of becoming outcasts; accepting, rejecting, labeling, judging any and all by their own standards.
Sounds like anarchy doesn’t it? I believe humans are good at heart, but also sensitive. So the ones that failed to rise up to the expectations of those whom they admire will innevitably become depressed. Well, that’s what therapy is for, but then again, realizing that there’s a whole planet out there, that awaits, and that their own world should not be limited because of setbacks, i doubt anybody will dwell in their own problems for too long.
Well, that’s my two cents for the day.
Decision time anyone ?
